Sellouts are Not Family

If I am related to someone closely and they are good to me I just do not get to see them. It is a long story but it is true.  From 1974 to 2008 my mom and I were tricked and pushed into making trips to Southern California to see a bunch of phonies.

They did not come to see us since I was in ninth grade. After that they even would make trips a few times a year through the same exact town we live in without seeing us at all. They never made any effort go get to know us. We were like trip objects to them. In fact in the 1990s I could tell they knew us about as much as people who had known us a week. Near the end in 2008 we saw a "family video" they had made that had probably 200 photos of them and maybe three of us. It was a movie made out of photos. It was so lame and it was so obvious that we meant nothing to them. Heck I think the few photos of us were from twenty years previous. What do you expect from a one sided "family" relationship. They talked always about being a "family" to the exclusion of us. Then again they tied us up so much the last time we were down there in 2008 that we had no chance to go to a family grave yard. That was the last time we could go down there and we are never going back to that part of the country. They were horrible gift givers but they expected perfect gifts from us. They would blow up at us over good gifts. Then again some of their gifts to us went straight to the trash by 1998. I sure felt better during the first birthday and Christmas cycle after they were gone. I never miss them and they were a waste of time.

They expected us to come and see them regardless of work or school responsiblities. When we dumped them it was like being really sick and starting antibiotics. Speaking of that there was one time I had mono really bad and I had been in urgent care twice in a week. They expected me to drop everything and drive right down there like that. I had just flown across the country and I was home just a week. I did not have the time to drive 480 miles and then fly back across the country. I was expected to drive 480 miles to see them. They seriously blew up at us not long after a doctor pretty much told me "lots of luck having kids." And a few days after that Kaiser doctor told me that I found out he was arrested for raping his patients. They added stress upon stress. And they expected us to move down there at the drop of a hat. Also there was one time they expected us to drive down there and my jaws were wired shut. That was a high maintenance time in my life and I could not just stop anywhere and eat. I had to put my food in a blender. And right after I ate I had to get a water pick and toothbrush out or else or my teeth could rot! I had to get regular food and put it in a blender. I sure was not going to be on the road eight hours and drink milk shakes. They did not "forgive" us for that for years. I was in high school at that exact time and I could not miss anything for that. That was for a 40th birthday of one of them and they were dumped before my 40th birthday. They threw our gifts out from this incident. Also when I was nine they took us to an amusement park I could not stand. The rides were scary and I ended up throwing up after not too long. It did not bother them at all and they just kept on going since it was all about them. Now that this has been over ten years ago I sit and think "I could have had tons of photos from Corpus Christi to California." And "I could have gone to some other part of the country instead." I wish I had I10 covered strongly from Phoenix to San Antonio. I love Willcox, Arizona and Benson, Arizona as much as Wells, Nevada. And the same for Lordsburg, New Mexico and Sonora, Texas. I wanted a lot more variety of photos for my audience online.

They barely knew about my site or my travels because they never tried to know us. They were not interested. As the years went on they got worse and worse. I always figured it would be over with them at some point. Deep down inside I never liked them. I got into genealogy because of this. I got into genealogy in 2001 because I missed my ancestors. Our ancestors had been good to us unlike these people. When I was growing up I could tell that the other kids and adults I knew could have trouble with family but not like what we ran into with these idiots. I hope no one on my site goes through stuff like this ever. Also one time I wanted to meet with someone with a similar site (Andy Field) in person. I was in Southern California but I was too tied up to meet him. Also once they were gone I realized I had changed more than any time in my life in a way. Their toxic crap was gone. I said different things and life changed so much for the better. The morning after we dumped them I noticed I had a hard time remembering them. No one ever treated us the way they did. In general I do not mention them.
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